Just in case elves don't do cheetahs...

This Christmas, fashion folk are suggesting gifts in the form of, errrrm, baby cheetahs? Apparently they're the new accessory as seen on the cover of January's US Harper's Bazaar and cradled in the arms of Miss Donaldson. Then there's the Cartier Ad, depicting yet another kitcsh kitty, only this one's feasting on the luxury trinket boxes - he can't do that! Down boy, heal...

I, on the other hand, have gift preferences of a less CATastrophic, more accessible, nature.

O.K, maybe not accessible, just yet, but I'm in training right now for my future of fear free designer splurges.

Burberry quilted Leather Jacket £1195
Because quilting is no longer the domain of old-fashioned dressing gowns and bedspreads. I love the contradicting comfort versus biker chic appeal of this jacket. The perfect overlay for a minimalistic ensemble of a calf length tube skirt and basic tee.

Christian Louboutin Decollete 100 Jazz Pumps £375
I apologise for the re itteration of my love for these Louboutins. Classic. Chic. Smart. Sexy. I will harp on until they're mine.

Thomas Wylde I-D Bracelet Boots £1340
These bracelet laced biker boots have got to be near the top of my list. I can't stop looking at them. B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

Lanvin Punk Lizard and Python Cuff £590
My love for reptile skin accessories will abate - over my dead body

River Island Masculine Loafer £34.99
I have waited a life time to find a pair of this exact form of loafer. Stylish, practical and affordable. I love sloany cool that's cheap.

Mulberry Tilly Bag
Me, the fashion world and his dog are waiting for Mulberry's latest creation. Forget the Roxanne, Bayswater and Alexa. Tilly is supple calf leather embossed with snake skin, gold buckles and chain straps...need I say more.

Zimmermann Ebony Rose Bikini £155
Because I need reminding that there are sunnier destinations out there, beyond all this snow and cold. This bikini top also reminds me of mermaids and how I once believed I was one with my crimped Daryl Hannah locks and lithe frame. Here's a picture to remind me of old me...